So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I am mentally ready for anal.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
