everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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