they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
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i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
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Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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