How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
thus making me awesome and them whores
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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