Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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