So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize