i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Just invented taco cereal.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
