My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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