Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
