I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
This is the high leading the old right now
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
