Non-Jews are for practice
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I won't apologize to a one balled man
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
