Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
