So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
