Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
