dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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