You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
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