I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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