so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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