Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
