just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Boobs are out for the taking
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
