just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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