Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
