idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
