hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
