I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
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