The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
