She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
