who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
