we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
