My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
