What a fucking waste of an outfit
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
