She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
