i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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