I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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