Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
