i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
