listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize