grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
