yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
