I'm eating all of the evidence.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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