I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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