i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
