What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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