Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
