i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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