tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
