Do you still have your period?
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
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