Who did Billy Mays play for?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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