I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
