I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize