the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I lost the right to judge tonight
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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