New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize