Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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