So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
