I'm jealous of your bromance
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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