brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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