I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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