One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
