her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize