that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
