I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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