I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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