just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
