Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Randomize
