ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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